Tom Kenyon

Its been a while since i last blogged but i have to comment on this inane journalistic diatribe.

The Advertiser August 25 reproduced an article/piece by thepunch.com.au by Tom Kenyon ( does anyone know who he is?) (it was either him or a4 yo kid who can tell) called My View.

Here are some of his puerile quotes

"often the solution(by governments) put forward is to build an iconic building"

Tom you knob, your government wants to build the Mike Rann Memorial hospital

Then he goes on to say "we need to make a conscious decision that we want Adelaide to be a place that people want to visit and enjoy"

Now I'm not Einstein, but are we the first people to ever come up with this concept, this is an earth moving idea.

Secondly"we need an attitude change"

How about this Tom, you don't get paid $100k a year to make dumb fucking comments

And last of all he suggests"we need to build our strengths" and "eating is important to humans" I'm in shock ....who would of thought that eating is important, not me! but that's why we have politicians like Tom to guide us no brain fuckers through life so they can collect their super in a couple of years time and have a statue built in their honour while the rest of us idiots have to work for a living

oh and he also said "coffee is another thing,we could become a state of baristas", now their is a thought 1.02 million people who can only make coffee, we might as well all become politicians because apparently you do not have to have an IQ above 40 to be one.

Mike Rann = Duplicity

Eminem, whether its Media Mike, Matador Mig or the Monotonal Mutant our own Misinformed Moron of a premier still believes this state does not need an ICAC, while elsewhere around the country and around the world politicians and police are being arrested for corruption. Yet Minister Midget ignores vox populi, the people who put him there, and continues to believe there could not be any corruption in South Australian government or public service.

He thinks that a police anti-corruption squad or an ombudsman will suffice, theres nothing quite like pubic servants investigating themselves. when this Mugabe Mirror has been disempowered
and the good citizens of little Madrid... i mean Adelaide can have an ICAC commissioned, we will be asking that all their investgations be retrospective so that the Monomorphic Minnow will have to justify



Selling state property to Spanish buisness interests for less than market value



Buying 2nd hand Spanish trams for more than they paid



Why the major investor in the desal plant(which he didnt want) is Spanish



Why his brother Chris gets a plum job that wasnt advertised or put out for tender



Why the new swimming pool at Marion will be modular and built in Italy(maybe Sasha's uncle builds them)



But by this time i suspect our Miscengenetic Misfit will be living the good life at our expense at a secret location in europe



Hasta Luego Miguel

The Rann in Spain

This low life premier, Miguel Rann(future king of Spain) and his government have 88(yes that right 88!!!)ministerial advisers, 11 media monitors, 2 ex liberal premiers and the partridge in the pear tree is his brother Chris(Christiano to Spanish who own the public trustee building)all have highly paid positions with this i don't give a F**k what the people of SA think government!

While this mono tonal moron runs this state the only thing that will happen(apart from Kevin ole Foley drinking free every night) is we will become a territory of Spain. The double edged sword in all of this is not only are these wankers highly paid as per the Sunday Mail report(12/7/09) but when the premier or ministers travel oversees on fact finding missions they take these blood sucking leeches with them, at a cost to every South Australian, so while he ingratiates himself with those around him he has a total disregard for the people who put him there.

One day, this new Latino state will have an ICAC, and Miguel can run but he wont be able to hide and he will be bought to bear and explain his nepotistic actions that will be the downfall of SA

Hasta Luego Miguel

Ole`

There once was a premier called Miguel
Who had a treasurer that couldn't read, write or spell
Who would enhance his libido
To try and keep up with his ego
Now his sights are set on poor Isobel

An Ode to a Bludger

There was a comlpete knob named Foley
Who's background was very un-holey
He drinks free beer day and night
Because he so f**cking tight
And his nickname is Kevin Arseholey

Monuments to Mike Rann and the Labor Party

How lucky is South Australia, just had to empty my shed because i cant afford to live in my house with increased council rates, water rates, sewer rates, electricity rates, ES levy, save the Murray levy, buy some more wine for Kevin Foley levy(ole).

But the good news is i found some concrete molds of the seven dwarfs, the challenge was to save money for Miguel, donate these life like figures to a worthwhile cause and try and capture the feelings of South Australians so that each dwarf represents someone in the SA Labor Ministry.


#1 Doc, John Hill and Jay Weatherill, both look distinguished and are used to anal probes

#2 Dopey, Michael Wright, Jay Lo, Tom Hoonsantonis, now here are some real life idiots!

#3 Sleepy, Pat Conlon, I would sleep too if i looked like Bung Fritz.

#4 Bashfull, Michael O'Brien, Paul Caica, Paul Holloway, Gail Gago, does anyone know what they do?

#5 Grumpy, Kevin (ole) Foley...who would of guessed?

#6 Happy, Jen Rankine, because everyone has forgotten about her!

#7 Sneezy, Karlene Maywald, not smart enough to catch a cold

And of course Snow White Mike (Miguel) Rann, will only wake up when the people of South Australia kiss him goodbye.

Jay Lo has jumped on board and suggested we hide all these life like Dwarfs around Spain and the first person and/or alien to find them all will win a South Australian taxpayers funded free tram ride from Glenelg to Wayville, keeping in line with government policy of only doing things in halves.

I didnt forget Mick Atkinson, but i couldn't think of a dwarf with bicycle clips.

The Rann for all seasons

Miguel was in Salisbury today door knocking
One problem, no one knew who he was.
Since the big Mig has moved to Norwood he had to get the UBD out for Jill to find Salisbury, its not easy ironing Migs clothes and reading at the same time but Jill's a fighter, and we all know women can do two things at once (except J-lomax, Gail G, Jen R and the other endless number of token women Mig has). But Mig still went where no politician has gone before....back to their own electorate.
We applaud you Mig for being a complete KNOB your annonimity remains the only reason why you can walk the northern suburbs and not be abused. Stay in Norwood, have a latte or a mac and be comfortable with the three people that like you.....(Kev,Pat,Michael) Oh sorry and Sasha!

Good news for Kevin Foley

How good is this, American professor Richard Karban says"members of the vegetable kingdom can communicate with each other"
This is right up Kevs alley because he seems to struggle with the hard questions when on ABC radio, he loses the plot and goes of on tangents to avoid answering them.
If he takes up the new portfolio for the ministry of the Vegetable Kingdom not only will he be dealing with plants that have the same intellect as him but being only 3ft tall while standing and 1 ft tall while drinking(free in parliament house) he can speak to them eye to eye.
Who knows this could lead to him dating some nice looking zucchini, after all they like to be harvested while very young.
Might have to change his name to Kevin Foliage

SWINE FLU IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA

I have bad news for everybody, swine flu has been alive and well in SA for a long time now, but previously only a few case had been reported.
The centre of this outbreak...Parliament House.
Yes poor old PH where they of the cloven hoof brigade bury their snouts deep in the trough of the public purse on the pretext of work.(60 days a year is not work!).
They call them sitting days, imagine if they all had to stand.
Obesity is not a problem in schools, its a problem in PH.
On local radio the other day it was mentioned that Kevin Foley is getting FAT. Not getting He IS.
Why is it that Pat Conlon is reduced to riding a bike? Is it because he exceeded the weight limit for a chauffeured driven vehicle?

There is a rumour that one night in the bar in PH, Kev and Pat, while lying under a table scraping the last remains of goose liver pate from a 1kg bucket with their fingers and gargling a nameless $400 bottle of red, decided to frame some budget papers. Now we all know Kev is an economic genius and Pat has the super hero type powers capable of turning himself into a Bung Fritz lookalike. Well this night they were masticating some ideas over, when like a revelation the combined genii or geniuses decided to increase fines.
What a masterstroke, forgiving the fact that the sum of oustanding fines at the moment is in the millions and the chances of recovering them all is minimal, this was going to be a budgetary achievement of mammoth proportions.
And what if people don't or can't pay these fines?
We will take them to court, impose a bigger fine they can't pay or gaol them. This surely is one of the states budget highlights that will go down in political folklore.
But gaoling them could be a problem as well, because in the same budget they scrapped the building of new gaols, this truely is a plan that has amazed everyone, leading political pundits in the budget lockup to beg for an encore.

Yes, when Kev said rack'em, pack'em and stack'em, he wasn't talking about gaols. He was talking about his free lunch order of soup, entree, mains, dessert, a cleansing sorbet, a six pack and a decanted red. The rest can eat cake he said!

Yes swine flu lives on

Sol Trujillo

AHHH Sol

Maybe you should have appeared on Spicks and Specks

Or tried your hand at Mexican hat dancing

But no.... you became the worlds biggest LOSER (along with TELSTRA)

You whine about Australians being racists, and if we were, you would not have got a job here you dumb w*g.

Instead we allowed you to be paid Millions of our money so you could prove that you are the worst performing CEO in the history telecommunications.

I bid you adieu my little chocolate starfish

And sayonara O' sole trujillo (I think that translates to "where the sun don't shine")

Bung Fritz

Pat Conlon's photo the other day of him in Lycra drew the unfair comparison of him and a roll of Bung Fritz.

I know which one I'd prefer in parliament.

Can you imagine poor little Kev having to drink all night with a roll of fritz on his lap.

Michael Wright the minister for not saving lives

Has anyone noticed that since Michael Wright has become the police minister (is this his 34th ministry position)? that the road toll is 21 more than the same time last year.
Now i can't blame the minister for these tragedies....Wait, yes i can. This is the moron who continually preaches the same old government mantra(spin) that speed, red light and safety cameras save lives.
This is a blatant lie, we all know its about revenue raising. If it wasn't we would not have cameras on Milne Rd, Galway Tce, Winifred St, Dequetteville Tce,(to name a few) every second week. How many people have died on these roads before and after the money makers were released, it would probably be 1. But this buffoon comes out with (the same s**t different day) waffle that these cameras are placed in areas based on police intelligence(oxymoron).If the police had any intelligence this clown would not be their minister.
These cameras are placed in SOFT target areas to maximise their income, not save lives!
Why don't they put speed humps where these cameras are used? Because they don't generate income!
Next, Red Light Cameras, we are told that these cameras are moved around to different sites, what a load of bull. If this was the case the one's South Tce and King William St revenue would be halved, plus the one on The Golden Way has been there for as long as i can remember.
If this fool was serious, why aren't red light cameras painted fluorescent yellow and have an orange flashing light on top of them? You know why not, because drivers would see them and slow down! That doesn't generate revenue, we can't have people driving slowly!

I don't understand why they haven't privatised them, we seem to sell everything that makes money. I would buy one....wait on, i can't I'm not a Spanish Consortium!

Will the real Mike(spam)Rann please stand up

Has anyone noticed little Mikey's spam diversion?
It's just like searching for info on the web and all you get is a load of CRAP thrown at you.
poor little Mike got a simple question on morning radio (5AA) the other day. Is the state government thinking, contemplating or even work shopping an idea of improving the Mt Barker rail service??? Not rocket science, not that hard, Yes or No! To hard for Spam Man, while looking at Jill in the producers booth waving her arms around like a mating Albatross, he came up with the perfect answer...Which was Absolute CRAP,! we're re-sleepering to Belair extending to Seaford and upgrading to Gawler.....Wait on Mike what about Mt Barker?? His comment after saying they had no money(maybe Kev can sell a few more buildings he doesn't OWN) was I'll have to ask Pat(where's my chauffeur)Conlon where we're at. Hang on(don't you work with him?)
He is typical of all the complete Knobs we have in this labor government, they have an inability to answer questions truthfully or even answer one in a manner that makes sense. But thats what they want. Mike and Jill underestimate the knowledge of the community, we are all not like Kev, Pat and Michael Wright, we are not that stupid! Unfortunately while the median wage in SA is under $30,000, these people spend that on a media adviser for 3 months!

Why do you live in Norwood Mike? Is it because Patrizia Sasha wanted to, or Jill didn't want to walk to far to do your ironing?

What do Kevin Foley and Pat Conlon have in common?

The problem with most politicians is not when they're drunk..! It's when they're sober!

South Australian Politicians versus Truants

You might think this is a strange idea but it does work,

TRUANT: Generally year 8 to year 11 education
POLITICIAN: Would like to aim for year 11 but we generally get less

TRUANT: Bludges on the people who support them
POLITICIAN: Bludges on the people who voted for them

TRUANT: Attends school as little as possible
POLITICIAN: Attends parliament as little as possible (60 days p.a.)

TRUANT: Hangs around supermarkets annoying passers by
POLITICIAN: Hangs around supermarkets annoying passers by

TRUANT: Eats, drinks and smokes with the help of money from the people who supported them
POLITICIAN:.......Wait a minute their is a common thread here

Is it just a simple case that truants and politicians are both blood sucking parasites costing the South Australian public millions of dollars every year, or is truancy the stepping stone for political success?

I wanted to become a politician, but i achieved year 12 and don't suffer from narcolepsy

Time for the Tokens

Jane Lomax-Smith
Is she related to Martin Hamilton-Smith
What a bunch of knobs.... I'm thinking of changing my name to Zachary Snowball-Smith...wait i can't do that or i would be a snowball lost in space!!
Speaking of lost space, our dear Jane has come up with a fantastic idea(wait Jane thought of something) why don't we get rid of 44 schools around the Iron Triangle Area and have a couple of community meeting places where kids might want to learn. Jane is obviously getting back to her Aboriginal roots. She must feel that people in far reaching places have got nothing better to do than drive an extra 100km to try and find a car park at 8.30am.
But Jane would know, she has the unenviable task of organising her chauffeur to pick her up from her little home in Adelaide and then have to put up with the exhaustive drive of 2km to parliament house for 60 days of the year.
The problem here is not Jane(coz she aint that smart)
It's Kevin Foley. He is consumed with the ideology that if he sells everything the state owns he can still rape...sorry i mean reap mega dollars in stamp duty, land tax and other inocuous government charges from the sale of land that these schools were on, and probably take a percentage of the development costs while possibly investing a portion into a trust fund that he might oversee...nah Kev wouldn't do that, not when you can invest interstate and pay no land tax. But just wait and see....schools will be sold and the government will be the one raking in extra cash on the premise of savings, in the mean time they have to employ more illegal immigrants to wash government cars because the fleet has expanded. Always does in winter.

Next Week
Why poloticians don't live in their electorates

Indian Optus

I want to have a rant.
Who has dealt with Optus for some obscure reason...? besides me.
I have payed my Internet bills for the last 2 and 1/2 years, but this time i let the $19.90 bill accumulate to $39.80, heaven forbid. So Optus in there wisdom cancelled my Internet, the beauty of this is that they don't have to tell you ....just shut it off. (These people have no regard for loyalty). After 50 minutes of talking to an "Indian call centre" I had my net restored, only because i said i can't pay my account without the Internet... which is what these blood sucking telcos want you to do anyway, because they want to be paper less.
But if you don't want to go paper less you pay extra.
They want to look GREEN while they employ people in India who's idea of saving the environment is to assassinate foreigners and beat your washing on a rock!

South Australian Government Report Card

Why is it that only political journalists(is that an oxymoron) produce report cards about politicians? We basically have one newspaper in this state which reports with unbiased views(what is it with oxymoron's)

So i thought i would have a crack.



MIKE RANN
Minister for the ship of Fools
Poor media Mike, I'm still trying to work out how he got the top job. Then it dawned on me, they had a dwarf throwing competition(apologies to Matt Abraham) late one night in the depths of the Labor (do you remember when labour had a U in it, now its not for U but them) Party machine headquarters "The Colac Hotel", in between lap dancing and free beer poor little Mike must of had more Velcro on than the other wannabes, got stuck higher than anyone else, the rest is history.
Poor little Mike has a problem with an ICAC. For the uninitiated its an "Independent Commission Against Corruption" We all know that corruption and politics go hand in hand which leads me to the question of why we don't have a Spanish Inquisition? Has anyone asked why the Public Trustee building was sold to a Spanish business man, why the desal plant is being built with the help of a Spanish Consortium and the new destroyer fleet is Spanish. One only has to do some background work and a shareholders check in another country, lets say New Zealand... wait that's where Mikes from. I've always wondered why politicians wives don't change their surnames.
3/10 pesos

Kevin Foley
Minister for selling the States assets
Poor little Kev, big on vitriol again small in stature, wants to date all the beautiful women of Adelaide, i said beautiful not smart. This is the person who defends Land Tax, again for people who don't know, in simple terms this a tax you pay when you own more than one property(does the state government pay Land Tax) unless its interstate...lets say NSW like little Kev did, then you don't. So my advice to all is invest in property anywhere but here!
I think we should get the treasurer from the local bowling club to come in twice a week.
1 house on Old Kent Road 0/10

Pat Conlon
Minister for making everyone late
Has anyone noticed that all the pot holes around Adelaide have little white corners painted around them. This is to give the impression that they are going to be repaired. What really happens is the paint wears off in 12 months then they do it again. At least Pat gets out and about in the town, his chauffeur knows all the short cuts.
He's got a ticket to ride and he don't care 1/10

Michael Wright
Minister for what ever is left over
Had more ministries than the church of scientology. Must have photos, maybe of Mike Rann at a bullfight in Spain(in a corporate box), possibly of Kevin Foley paying for a meal, or even Pat Conlon walking.
Always look on the wright side of life -3/10

special mention to Chris Rann,(brother of Mike) gets the PR gig for THE PUBLIC TRUSTEE, who said nepotism was dead, (not any politician) must of been the right man(or is that rann) for the job, will never know because it wasn't put out for tender. 10/10